I approached the prayer room at church before service started on Sunday to cleanse myself of iniquity; I was berating myself for a sin I’d committed just minutes before. Dropping my Bible and purse into a chair, I raised my hands up palms open to God and closed my eyes to receive His forgiveness.
I started to speak, but as I spoke my words sounded hollow and empty, as if I was just confessing to sound and act contrite. This realization caused me to stutter and I stopped speaking. My stomach began to roil, and a desperate awareness washed over me of just how wicked I was.
Was I there to play-act a confession like an actor on a stage? Did I even mean what I was saying? My arms dropped dully to my sides, my head fell forward limp in sorrow, shame surrounded me, and tears fell from my eyes. Was there no depth to my sinful behavior? How could I come to the Father in such a state? Even my tears were subject to inspection.
But my tears were genuine. Real tears for a real God who I trusted to remove my sins….the ones I came in here to release to Him, and the sin I just committed in prayer. I am knocked to my knees by my absolute need for His grace and mercy.
I blinked back fresh tears as the Holy Spirit simultaneously convicted me and lifted my disgrace high, putting it in full view of the Heavens. With a deep breath I resumed my prayer and now my words were honest and sincere.
My heart poured out as I truly confessed and asked for forgiveness. Then in the quiet moments afterward, the prayer room clock softly ticked the minutes away, and my Lord God showered me with His grace and I was free again.
“See, I have removed your iniquity from you, and I will clothe you with rich robes.”
– Zechariah 3:4b (NKJV)
“Lord, my heart swells with gratitude that I can stand before Your mercy seat. Though, Satan attempts to hold my sin fast upon me, You remove it from me with a wave of Your almighty hand. Humbled am I to be filled with Your Spirit, and that I have found Your favor….”
A Life Sanctified