When it came time that delivery was imminent, I was dilated to 6cm and I knew it wouldn't be long. It was now time for me to allow myself to visit my feelings of loss. I was scared. I didn’t know what to expect. What was it going to be like to deliver a lifeless baby? Would they let me hold her immediately like my previous deliveries? How would I deal with this? My husband and I named her Anna Catherine. As I thought about her, I begin to cry and grieve; but, God stopped me in my tracks. I closed my eyes and there I went for a chat with God. He reminded me of how the disciples didn’t ... Read the Post
Lessons from Loss
After delivering my last child stillborn, I experienced the most excruciating pain in my heart. It is just not natural to labor, deliver, and not bring your child home with you. Nothing made sense about the entire situation, but I did find God’s comfort in the midst of my deep pain in knowing He was with me even when I didn’t feel His presence 100% of the time. That’s where my faith kicked in. I felt so much love and support from my church family, but there was an emptiness that I couldn’t explain or fill. I went to work as a nurse after my two other kids started school because I didn’t ... Read the Post