I have been married eight years now. In our second year, our marriage fell prey to adultery. The painful and unforgettable truth was unveiled by God’s hand. We were done, I was sure. As I looked down into my arms at our ten month old son, I was surrounded by a whirlwind of emotions. This is not fair God! I stand here with so many heavy weights upon me, and I did nothing.
I was angry, hurt, frustrated, and scared. Even though I was badly hurt, my husband didn’t want me to leave. I didn’t know what to do because I truly didn’t want to hurt him or our son by taking his daddy away. But how could I ever trust, forgive, and whole heartily love my husband again! I could not handle the pain, and I didn’t even want to try.
I was burdened by so many emotions and decisions that I never wanted to make. Then after a time of grieving (from dreams lost and shattered), I realized that both my husband and I would have to step up to make our marriage work. This seemed very unfair because I wanted my husband to do all the work and fix everything. I wanted to treat my husband like slave because he hurt me. But if I am to truly have a heart that reflects Jesus Christ, I would have to fully give forgiveness.
This was not easy. I didn’t know if I could. But God could! God could help me and give me strength. All things are possible through Christ — even forgiving an affair! Once I finally made the decision to walk in accordance with God’s Word, He lifted the heavy burden from me and this allowed me to forgive my husband and to start building trust again.
The healing does not happen overnight, but trusting in God and giving Him control allowed me to grow like never before. I learned so much from this experience. It humbled me and brought me to a new place in God. The burden of an affair is not meant to be carried. You have to step out in obedience and just trust in God. You have to stop allowing yourself to be a victim to Satan’s lies.
He makes you feel shameful, embarrassed, and even guilty. The Enemy tells you that you will never be good enough. People may also say things. But the truth is that my husband is not perfect, nor am I. To believe otherwise is foolish. There are no perfect marriages. We all fall short of the Glory of God.
Trusting in God and understanding His truth is the only way to restore your relationship and family. Our family has been abundantly blessed since then. If we would have allowed emotions instead of God influence our decisions, the joy that we have would have been missed!
“No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.”
-Romans 8:37 (NLT)
“God, please bless the many marriages that are struggling today. Allow us to love one another the way You have loved us and to forgive one another the way You have forgiven us. Let us have mercy for others and trust in Your plans to prosper us in all things, including…”