I’ve used every reason imaginable to excuse a negative attitude towards my husband: I’m tired; it’s that time of the month; I’m pregnant; I was pregnant and now there’s more hormonal stuff going on; I’m a stressed out mom and wife, etc. Basically, I exist; therefore, I act this way.
To me, I wasn’t sinning because I couldn’t possibly control the way I was behaving. After all, why would God make me capable of these types of emotions and attitudes if they weren’t okay in His eyes? One day He gently reminded me of the power of free will and our human desire to choose sin.
I seemed to have forgotten that when I chose to follow Jesus, I also chose to die to my old human desires – the desires to nag, belittle, pout, demand and start senseless fights. New, beautiful fruits should’ve emerged. Negative attitudes, regardless of my hormonal state, are not on the list of Holy Spirit given traits.
So when the socks don’t make it to the hamper, the kids are allowed to eat ice cream for breakfast, or I don’t get that beloved back massage I was promised three months ago, I ask my heart how to react. My head still likes to dig up the reactions from my old, dead self, but my heart? My heart is guided by the Holy Spirit, and it’s finally starting to show.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
– Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV)
“Dearest Father, thank You for giving us such a clear-cut description of how we should treat others, and how we should live our lives. Continue to work on my heart and help me to be filled with Your Holy Spirit so that I may display every trait that You desire. I want to be the woman that You created me to be: one filled with the fruit of…”